Supporting loved ones on National Coming Out Day

LGBTQ Health
Wellness
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Robin Goodfellow was an exceptionally vibrant, lively teenager. She and her mom, Courtney Goodfellow, have always been close, so when Robin came to Courtney in tears when she was 15, Courtney was concerned.

"She said, 'Mom, I think I'm a lesbian," Courtney recalls. "I asked her what she needed in that very moment, and she said, 'I really just want some chocolate ice cream.' What she also needed was a safe place to talk so she could accept and share an essential part of herself. Once she unburdened, she was back to her effervescent self.

What mattered most to Courtney, in that moment and since, was that Robin knew she was loved and accepted no matter what — and that there is a whole community ready to support her. Courtney had seen friends and colleagues over the years who couldn't be themselves at home or at work and had suffered greatly as a result. She vowed that she would always be accepting of her children no matter who they loved and would create a safe environment where they could be themselves.

"As an ally, the most important thing you can say to someone is, 'I see you, I accept you, you are enough, and if you ever need a place to go or a person to talk to, I'm here."  – Courtney Goodfellow

Offering continued support

Since that day five years ago when Robin came out to her, Courtney has become "mama bear" to many of Robin's friends as well. She chaperones groups going to Pride events in Philadelphia every year and puts families in touch with resources available to them.

"I want them to know I am here any time they need advice or just someone to listen. As an ally, the most important thing you can say to someone is, 'I see you, I accept you, you are enough. And if you ever need a place to go or a person to talk to, I'm here."

An Enterprise Security Manager for Main Line Health, Courtney is proud of the LGBTQ Inclusive Care initiatives and support she has gotten from her employer. Robin has developed great relationships with her Inclusive Care providers as well. She is currently a psychology major at Penn State, minoring in child maltreatment and studying to become a Guidance Counselor.

"Coming out is one of the most courageous things someone can do. It's acknowledging and celebrating the deepest, most beautiful part of you," Courtney adds. Her advice to other parents: "Let them know you love them, see them and are there for them. Help them find resources. This is a journey you take together."

National Coming Out Day is October 11. Here are some supportive family resources:

Next steps:

Learn more about the LGBTQ Inclusive Care 
Find an LGBTQ Inclusive Care provider

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