by Edward Murphy, Psy.D.
Director, BMR Psychology Associates
 
The anticipation of returning to school can bring much excitement for the majority of students. Making new friends, getting re-involved in school activities, and desire to learn is viewed as a welcome new beginning.  However for some students the end of summer causes symptoms of emotional distress with anxiety and feelings of worry. Meeting a new teacher, fears of the unknown, anxiety about separation from home and family, and concerns about making friends can make students feel stress and pressure when returning to school. Parents can help children overcome these fears by listening to their concerns and scheduling family time during the school year. Robin McClure, educator offers a number of suggestions making the transition easier for both parents and children alike.

The most important thing that parents can do to ease back-to-school jitters is to talk with their children and let them know some of the fun things that will be planned during the upcoming year. For younger kids, read books about school and play "school" with them. Most daycare centers transition back to a school-like structure in pre-school, so tots should know what that will be like as well. If possible, let your child meet his teacher or caregiver prior to the first day.

In the week leading up to a return to school or fall routine, transition kids back to bedtime and wakeup times. Have your child practice getting on his own PJs, teeth brushing, prayers, and any other rituals that still puts head on pillow at designated sleep time. Go through expectations about getting dressed, eating breakfast, and appropriate grooming so that everyone gets out the door on time. Remember, this may take some practice, so start early!

Place a family photo into your child's backpack or write a special note to your child and put in their lunchbox for a special reminder that they are loved. Transitions away from home can be tough, even for older children, and a simple note can provide some much-needed reassurance.

Create a special parting ritual ahead of time with your child and practice it, so that your child is familiar with it and feels extra special when saying goodbyes. Maybe it is a special hug or handshake, a kiss and a twirl, or a set verbal exchange between you (such as "I love you best because..."). It doesn't matter what you do, it's just reassuring to know that you share this special exchange together! And, advice to all parents: don't linger! Say goodbye and then go. All will be okay.

Over-extended schedules, a rush to get to practice or dance class, or receiving a cell phone call at the end of the day when parent and child reunite can destroy the best time to reconnect. Parents need to make it a priority to really listen to what their child says about their day. Parents should ask questions, express happiness at being reunited with them, and focus only on their child. Look over any papers, remark about any handiwork, and see if there is any "news" for tomorrow.

Parents should keep their radar up for any signs that their child is experiencing back-to-school stress once the year begins. Classic symptoms include complaints of headaches or stomachaches, tension at bedtime, and emotional goodbyes. If this happens, first respond with extra reassurance and quality one-on-one time. Then, look for ways to re-adjust schedules or preparation rituals, and review whether your child is overloaded with too many activities or hasn't made friends.

If anxiety continues after the first few weeks, don't hesitate to talk with your child's teacher to learn how your child acts during the rest of the day after you're gone. If signs of depression or anxiety remain, then it's a cue for additional action. Sometimes kids are genuinely depressed or stressed over school and additional intervention may be required. Schedule an appointment with the school counselor or your child's pediatrician for their expert advice.